Our family

Week 40

17th May 2010....

I got home from hospital the day after our baby Eilidh Grace was born. I am so glad she is here safely and the hyperemesis has gone. The first week with a baby was hard but brilliant. Everyone was worried about me getting post-natal depression as hyperemesis puts you at higher risk but I have never been happier than I am now. I have a perfect baby and she has a perfect daddy. We took her out every day - into town, to the park, for walks... I am also making up for what I didn't eat for 9 months!! I was sore (because I had stitches) but I recovered very quickly, much quicker than expected.

They say that once you have your baby in your arms you forget everything. I have not forgotton anything and I don't think I ever will. However, now I have my baby in my arms I think I would do it all again for her. She is perfect in every way and I can't believe she survived what she did. Because of what we've all been through Eilidh is even more special to us and I've never loved anything or anyone more.......

Week 38/39

12th May 2010....

Hospital stay -

I arrived at 12.30, like I was told but they were too busy to take me so I was to go away for an hour. Eventually I was seen at half two and given my first pessary. It had to stay in for 24 hours then be removed. Hospital is so boring and I hoped I wouldn't be there long!!! I was monitored every few hours which meant I couldn't get out of bed. I got no sleep overnight as they kept waking me to monitor the baby or my blood pressure. I was also up several times being sick.

Anyway, Thursday at 2.30 came and they checked my cervix. It had slightly softened but nowhere near enough to break my waters so I got another pessary. Six hours later they checked again and I needed another pessary. This baby was not for coming early. They had me up all night again checking baby and, again, I was up being sick.

On Friday morning I got the good news that I was 2cm dilated but the bad news that labour suite was full. I was having contractions on and off since yesterday lunch time. They could be really painful and co-codimol really didn't help and I didn't like the gas and air.

On Saturday morning at half 8 they came and told me I was ready to go to labour suite. I was excited and ready for this now. I got down about 9 o clock and they got me comfortable and just waited for the anaesthetist to come and do my epidural. Once the epidural was in they started the hormone drip which causes really strong contractions. The epidural didn't work so I felt the contractions. I needed gas and air as they were really painful. They broke my waters which was also quite sore. Eventually the anaesthetist came and resited it. The second epidural numbed part of me but I still felt the contractions in places. I used gas and air but the baby's heart rate kept dipping and they were slapping oxygen on my face and making me turn on my side. The anaesthetist came back and gave me fentanyl which helped a huge amount. At 2pm I was 6cm dilated and by 7pm I was 10cm dilated. An hour later I had to start pushing. I pushed for an hour but the baby's heart rate kept falling to 80bpm and she was lying on her side. The consultant obs came in and decided to use vontouse to get her out quickly. On Saturday 15th May 2010 at 21.24 my baby girl was born weighing 6lbs 12oz. Steve cut the cord and she was placed on my tummy.

As soon as she was placed in my arms I started being sick. Steve had to take her and I missed out on my first few minutes with my baby. Something that I will never get back. I was annoyed and upset that it was still there. I was sick about 5 times that hour then I was transferred to the ward. I wasn't sick again....

Week 39 (Week 38 hospital dates)

10th May 2010......

The big week.....!!!!

By the end of this week we will have our little girl in our arms. I am writing this on Tuesday, the day before I am going in to be induced. I have mixed feelings today. I don't really get nervous but I do get scared and I'm certainly that. Obviously, I am excited and can not wait to meet our baby but I feel its still a long way off! I am going in tomorrow to get a pessary to ripen my cervix and then start my contractions. I hope it doesn't take days to work as I'm not the most patient person and I hate hospitals!!!

My hyperemesis has been slightly better the last couple of days but I am still vomiting about 8 times daily. I think baby has dropped and I feel as if a lot of pressure has been taken off my stomach but I am still only able to eat small amounts or I am sick.

I can't believe that by the end of this week I will be normal again and we will have a gorgeous baby girl!!

Week 38

3rd May 2010......

I can finally see an end!!! By hospital and later scan dates I am only 37 weeks this week and they have decided to induce me at 38 weeks so our wee girl will be with us next week.

This week was just the same as last. I was still being sick just as much. The omeprazole works to an extent that it gives me a bit of relief in bed so I can get some sleep. On Wednesday I went to see the consultant again (even though I never actually seen him). The midwife checked me and baby over and was quite happy with everything. Afterwards we got to speak to the doctor. He went through everything once again, I don't understand why they don't read patients notes before they see them. Anyway, he felt my belly, spoke about my medications and said there isn't much else that can be done. They decided to bring me in at 38 weeks on Wednesday the 12th May to induce me as they felt it was a greater risk to leave me any longer.

I'm not at all nervous or scared, I just feel guilty. I am so worried something happens to the baby because I have agreed to an induction. I know and understand that at 38 weeks babies are only putting on more weight and they are fully developed but I'd much rather she came herself when she was ready. I also feel relieved that by the end of next week I will be normal again (hopefully). I just hope the internal bleeding stops when I stop being sick and that there are no other long term effects. Stay positive......

Week 37



Ok, I did this but only because I moved house and my second doctor wasn't any better than my first. If your doctor doesn't believe how unwell you are don't let them send you away after every appointment with nothing more than when you went in! Make sure you get treated. I left it far too late to do this. I was treated by my GP and community midwives until I was 35 weeks (apart from my hospital stays). Neither of them had the first clue about hyperemesis. Everytime I went to see the doctor, I was in and out within 5 minutes. I didn't want to waste his time as I just accepted that nothing could be done for my condition and I was just to suffer it. Once I started seeing consultants I was given better care, they still didn't stop the sickness or control the bleeding but I felt I was in better hands.


Again, I did this far too late. Steve never came with me until I was 36 weeks. He told the doctors things I had forgotton and also things from how he was seeing it. I have a bad habit of not mentioning certain things to avoid being admitted to hospital. Funnily enough I was admitted into ward 37 straight after the first appointment Steve came too!! I'll forgive him one day..... Even if you can't take your partner or whoever is watching you every day I think it would still have been nice to have had the company when I was waiting to go in. I didn't want to bother anyone and didn't want Steve having to take loads of time off work.


You'll be given no information at all on this condition so unless you research it then you can't understand it. One thing I have learnt is how much rubbish is on the internet but there are some good websites. A lot of it is irrelevant because it is American but certain information is worldwide. Not that they worked for me but there is a lot of information on non-medical remedies like preggie pops and sea bands. If nothing else it is good to read other peoples hyperemesis stories. It helps you realise your not crazy or alone!

One site I recommend is: www.helpher.org/. It is working on finding a cure for hyperemesis.


I've looked back on my blog many times to see when I had good weeks and what drugs worked better than others. It isn't even written for everyone else to read although if it helps anyone then thats an advantage. I know that other girls with hyperemesis have read my blog and left comments. People keep telling me that I will forget this and have another baby but I keep telling Steve that I will NEVER forget as I have it all written down in front of me.


Easier said than done for 9 months!! I am very bad at this but it is true, I am better on days I do nothing. It is sole destroying doing nothing day after day but I find that I manage to do a little bit each day rather than big days out. There is an end to it when you can go out as much as you want (and I'm nearly at it)!!


As I write this I realise how badly I handled this illness. I went for a couple of months where I couldn't cook for Steve or clean the house, I struggled to clean up after the dogs and I tired myself out big time having a shower. I realise now its ok not to have an immaculate house all the time when your unwell and Steve was more than capable of feeding himself! Its hard to change habits as I seen it all as "my job" and felt lazy and guilty when I was unable to do it.


Even at 37 weeks I think people doubt that I actually have an illness. I feel like I am just a nuisance and a hassle so I don't expect people to go out their way for me. I suppose, as I have said before, unless you have suffered it you can't understand it. Over the last few months when people have complained they have a sickness bug I want to hit them! Thats what I have had every single day since September but for some reason its different. All I can recommend is just stay away from people who doubt you then it can't upset you.


I know I said rest but even though I was sick and very tired before and after our trip to Paris it was the last chance we got to be alone on holiday before baby arrives. It was well worth it. If you have the chance to get away for a night or two and are able I definately recommend it.


I spent months feeling guilty about things.

- not being able to hug people

- taking things out on Steve

- having people running after me

- not keeping a nice house for Steve to come home to

- not being able to attend things and cancelling lunches etc

- not being able to work

the list goes on....

Feeling guilty never helped at all. This is only 9 months of your life, everyone knows what your normally like and will be like once its over.


If your not able then don't do it. I went back in September and lasted a day, I went back again in January and lasted two days. It made me so ill and it wasn't worth it at all. You get no thanks for trying and you ARE sick! Physically, emotionally and mentally. I was putting myself and my baby at risk by working. I'm not the kind of person who is off work all the time for colds or a sore arm so I need this time off and I'm going to take it.

Week 37

26th April 2010......

This week didn't get any better....

I was really sick on Monday and up most of the night on Tuesday being sick. I brought up more blood overnight on Tuesday night. I had an appointment at the clinic with the consultant on Wednesday otherwise I think I would have had to phone the hospital again.

I went to the clinic and seen the midwife first of all. She checked my blood pressure (which was unusually high for me), my pulse and my urine (which had ketones). She then checked the baby over. She's still head down and her heart was beating strong. Afterwards I seen the doctor. He checked me over and decided to admit me back in to hospital. Not what I wanted.......

I went back to ward 37 again. I had a blood test, which came back ok. They monitored my sickness and decided to try me on omeprazole instead of ranitidine. I also had a urine infection so I was put on another course of antibiotics. The consultant came to speak to me about delivery and told me that he wants to try and get me through to week 38 then induce me. That was fine by me as long as they helped to stop this sickness! I have also had a lot of rib pain when coughing or being sick, they spoke about a physio referal as they think I have torn a rib. However, they also told me that nothing can really be done until I deliver.

I got no rest at all over night and was praying to be back in my own bed. The woman in the next bed to me had been induced and was in labour. She was moaning, screaming and swearing all night as well sucking on gas. She also decided it would be nice to have a bath at 4 am!! There was also two admissions into the bay overnight. Lights and buzzers were on and off and doctors were in and out.

I got out the next day with antibiotics and omeprazole. I have been told that omeprazole has not been tested in pregnant woman and that it is a strong drug. I have to take it every day for the next 3 days then try every second day. Obviously I don't want to put the baby at any risk but I'll take their advice and give it a try!

The omeprazole actually does help a bit. I had an ok weekend, I was sick just as much but I wasn't up as much overnight. I had brought up some blood on Friday and on Sunday so it hasn't helped in that way but I will give it time.

Week 36

19th April 2010....

At 36 weeks, our baby should now weigh about 5.9 lbs and be about 18.6 inches long!!! I think maybe our wee girl might be a bit smaller though.

The main job this week is to put on weight - the baby not me!! She should be gaining about 1/2 a pound a week now.

Her gums are now firm and have ridges where her teeth will come through from 3 months - a year old

She will have a sleep pattern now - which this wee girl is up ALL night and sleeps ALL day - great!!

She should be all ready just to come now and all thats standing between us is the painful birth!!

Week 36

19th April 2010

Lorna phoned me early in the morning to tell me that the consultant will see me at his clinic today. I was really pleased. I was to go straight in, which I did. I seen a midwife first who checked baby over. She did an ultrasound just to double check baby is head down, which she is. She measured my uterus which is catching up again and had a good feel of my belly. She took more blood tests from me, checked my blood pressure, pulse, urine (which I was unable to give a sample of) and weighed me. Everything was ok so I was just to wait for the consultant.

The consultant came and discussed what he would like to do. He was quite concerned about the amount of blood I was vomiting although he didn't seem hugely surprised and said that my stomach and oesophagus will be badly irritated. He prescribed me ondasetron again (MY LIFE SAVER!!!) and also ranitidine to help with the acid. He also is now seeing me weekly in his clinic rather than seeing community midwives. I was really happy with everything and finally feel as if something, even if its just small things, is being done.

Monday night was so good. I was sick a couple of times before bed but, for the first time in weeks, I never had to get up to be sick overnight. However, it only lasted that night. Tuesday night was just back to normal and I had to get up during the night to be sick. There was no blood until Thursday night but it was just very small amounts. Friday and Saturday were just the same again, I was vomiting as normal but there was no blood.

About 6.30am on Sunday morning I woke up with severe pain just at the bottom of my ribs. I had this the night I was admitted to hospital and they gave me co-codimol which helped. I had a bath and left it for a couple of hours but I was in so much pain I had to phone triage. They asked if I would like to come in or stay at home. They advised me that if I'd rather stay at home that I took painkillers and tried to eat something and phone back in an hour if its still the same. I had a bit of toast, pain killers and ranitidine and 1/2 hour later I felt a bit better. I wasn't right for the rest of the day and struggled to eat or drink anything. I still don't know what this pain is but I worry its damage to something from the vomiting. Nothing can be investigated until baby has been delivered though.

Week 35

12th April 2010

We're nearly there!!!

The night time sickness continues and I get no sleep during the night. Its really difficult and leaves me exhausted most of the time.

On Wednesday I had my "34 week" appointment with the midwife. It was ANOTHER new midwife (the fourth one) but, again, she was really nice. She spoke through a few things with me before checking baby. She wanted more blood tests to check my iron levels but knowing the trouble people have getting blood from me she decided that we'd leave it. I had 4 blood tests done just 3 weeks ago anyway. She asked about where I'd like to give birth and explained to me that they might decide to put me in labour suite as I am too high a risk for the midwive unit. I won't find out what they decide until 38 weeks and it will depend on how I am from now until then. I would like to be in the unit but I am starting to accept that might not happen. All I really want is the baby to get here safely.

The midwife measured the baby and told me that I am two weeks behind. If she was any more or if she falls anymore behind I will have to go for another growth scan. I am quite happy just now because I had a growth scan 3 weeks ago and she was ok. So fingers crossed she keeps growing!

The weekend was not very good. On Saturday night I was very sick and eventually all that I was bring up was fresh red blood. Obviously this scares me but I have told doctors and midwives since January and nobody is concerned. On Sunday, I phoned my aunty Lorna, who works with gynae consultants, to see if she is able to speak to anyone. She says that she will talk to the consultant who looked after me when I was in hospital and see what he says. So I just need to wait until tomorrow to see what can be done now.

Week 34

5th April 2010

I had an bad week again. I was very sick on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday - day and night time. Night time was much worse than during the day and I was sick until my stomach was completely empty and all I could do was wretch. Its a horrible feeling and one that you never get use to. I felt quite down again this week, nothing like before. I guess I thought that I would be feeling better after the fluids and medication in hospital. I thought that I might get a wee bit of a break, some sleep and some food!! But it wasn't to be!

On Wednesday night we were meant to be going to our first antenatal class. I was looking forward to going and I know Steve was too but unfortunetly (as usual) hyperemesis got in the way and I was too sick to go. I feel guilty and upset that Steve misses out on these normal things that most dads would get the chance to do but I also know I can't do anything to stop it.

I was still quite sick on Thursday but picked up a bit by Friday. I was still sick overnight but day time had settled down. Mum and Emma visited on Friday night for a couple of hours and it was nice to have the company. We went out for lunch on Saturday which was nice and on Sunday we visited my gran for her birthday.

Week 33

29th March 2010.....

I thought I would be feeling much better after just being in hospital. Everything is just the same as before though. I am still being sick several times a day and especially over night. My chest infection is really bothering me too, my chest feels really tight and coughing makes me sick.

On Wednesday I had a my "32 week" midwife appointment. It was good. It was another new midwife but I was quite impressed with her. The first thing she noticed the minute I walked in the door was all the bruises on my hands! She was really concerned until I explained it was just the hospital trying to find veins! She sat with me and went through all my blood results from the hospital and explained what was wrong and when. She also weighed me which nobody has done since 10 weeks. She was quite concerned that I have only gained 4lbs my entire pregnancy but then she felt the baby and says that she is growing just fine! The babies heart rate was fine and she let me listen to it as long as I wanted (because the heart rate had been up and down the week before). Overall she was really happy with the baby and everything seemed fine.

On Thursday I had a doctors appointment because I have finished my antibiotics but my chest infection is still there. He, as usual, wasn't very helpful and assured me that I just have a post-infection cough. What can I do? I have to just accept what he says I guess. He gave me a prescription for more anti-emetics and MY LAST SICK LINE Yeyyy!!!!!

After my doctors appointment Steve took me to Aberdeen to see the "Sound of Music". I have spent the last 3 days stuck in the house to prepare for this day out so I am going to enjoy it!!! We went for some lunch which was nice and then to the show. It was great, I really enjoyed it. We stopped in Dundee for some tea (which I suffered for later). It was great to get a day out :-).

6 weeks to go........

Week 33

29th March 2010

To Baby Robb

Today you are 33 weeks old and we don’t need to wait too much longer to meet you now! The past 7 months have been extremely hard for both you and me and also for your daddy. We have spent every day being sick, sometimes only twice and sometimes more than thirty times. I have starved you of food and water for days at a time but you battled through. The doctors say that your heart rate increases everytime I am being sick so it must be putting some stress on you too. They also said that your sleepy a lot of the time which may be caused by the drugs I have to take to keep both you and me alive.

Some days I wish you would just appear now so that I can have a day without being sick. It is a selfish way of thinking and I am glad you have decided to stay in this long. I don’t think that I would have the strength to care for you just now as I struggle to care for myself. We are lucky that we have your daddy to care for you when you do appear so that I can build my strength back up.

I hope that your not suffering too much in there and maybe one day you will need this blog to help you through the same. Unfortunately, it runs in families! You’ve had your steroid injections so you should have a strong set of lungs on you but stay in there for another 6 weeks or so. We’re nearly there and I promise the first thing I will do when is feed you.

Love from your mummy xxxxxxxxxx

Week 32

22nd March 2010 - 25th March 2010

Back to hospital......

MONDAY - I spent the whole of Monday rejecting EVERYTHING that went in my mouth. It didn't even reach my stomach before it was coming back up. When Steve got home at night time he watched as I was sick over and over and over..... I knew what he was thinking but I REALLY did not want to go back there again. I tried so hard to keep something down but I couldn't. I checked the ketones in my urine at 6pm and they were only "+1" so I relaxed a bit and kept trying to get fluids in me. By 9pm my ketones were "+4", the highest they could be. I couldn't believe how quickely I had deteriorated. I was so upset and was begging Steve to let me stay at home for one more night. He backed off a bit and let me go to bed. I couldn't settle and just kept being sick. Just before midnight Steve decided he'd had enough and phoned NHS 24, who sent me back to hospital. I knew this was coming but it didn't make it any easier. I got in to ward 37A and was put in a side room. I didn't get any rest over night as the doctors were in and out the whole night. I was checked over, had blood tests taken, given IV fluids and put on the CTG machine for the baby. I don't have good veins at the best of times but I didn't realise how bad they were. I ended up with 14 cannulas!!!

TUESDAY - The consultant came in to see me on the ward round this morning with some news I wasn't expecting. She told me that my baby wasn't doing great, was sleepy with a rapid heart rate. She explained that I had to get steriod injections to help develop the babies lungs as she may have had to deliver her by C-Section. I had to go for an ultrasound scan to check the babies blood flow. The doctor was quite happy with my scan which was a relief but I still wasn't in the clear. The midwives put the CTG machine on me every couple of hours for an hour or so which left me stuck in bed because you can't move around with it on. I continued to get IV fluids and got cannulas resited every few hours. I didn't manage to keep any fluids down throughout today and didn't manage to eat anything. By night time I had a really high temperature.....it was never ending. They took blood tests from me which showed I had an infection. They checked me over and told me I had a lower respiratory infection so I was put on antibiotics. As well as all this, I was told that I would need to get scans to check what damage being sick for so long has done to other parts of my body. The doctor said that if I continue to bring up blood he would arrange a scan of my gallbladder and spleen and refer me to gastroenterologists. I was exhausted by this time and just wanted to sleep because I had been up all night the night before and all day today.

WEDNESDAY - I woke up at 7am feeling a bit better. My chest was sore but I wasn't being sick. It was a relief. I managed a couple of spoonfulls of breakfast and the same at lunch and kept both down. Its not much but its better than the last few days. I still had maximum amount of ketones in my urine though so another day in hospital I guess!! Nothing new happened today, I kept on IV fluids, antiemetics, the CTG machine and antibiotics. Baby was still sleepy and they were still keeping an eye on her but the possiblilty of having a section seemed to be getting lower. Thank god!!

THURSDAY - My urine this morning was clear of ketones.....yey!!! The consultant on the ward round asked if I'd like to go home....of course I would!!! So he said that we'd do ANOTHER blood test and if my infection levels had come down, I managed to eat my lunch and baby had picked up then he'd let me go home. I prayed and prayed!! The results came back and they were lower. The CTG machine was hooked up and baby was much happier. All that was left to do was eat lunch. I had a sandwich and kept it down.

So 14 cannula's, 12 bags of fluid, 2 steriod injections, an ultrasound scan, lots of antemetics, antibiotics and a happy baby later, a happy mummy got to go home!!!

Week 31

15th March 2010.....

I am still being very sick this week, mostly overnight. I have a chesty cough too which isn't helping and is possibly making me more sick. Day times arn't too bad, I am trying to get on with things as normal although it is exhausting. On Saturday Steve took me to 63 Tay Street for a meal. A 5 course meal at that!!!! Apart from a couple of spoon fulls of desert I managed it all. As well as managing it, I actually enjoyed it. The 5 course meal appeared again a couple of hours later, not looking so nice, but it was worth it. Sunday was quite bad for sickness and I don't feel like I have control over it anymore.

I felt myself slipping down in to that bad place again but I thought I could pick myself back up......I thought wrong.......

Week 30

8th March 2010.....

I feel like this is never going to end and some days I just accept that this is the way my life now is. Its a hard, depressing and lonely life but its still a million times better than 4 months ago. Most days are just wasted, I am tired after hoovering a room or putting a load in the washing machine. It makes me feel pathetic and I tell myself to just get on with it. How will I ever be able to look after a baby? I know the sickness will have left me by then but it'll take time to get any strength back. I feel like I will be a useless mum who won't have the strength to care for their baby. Fortunately, I am in the position where Steve can take that bit longer off to help me for the first few weeks. I am meant to be looking forward to our babies arrival...........

I was just exhausted this week. I was so tired which meant I was sick a lot. For some reason the sickness is much worse overnight which is horrible. I am woken up several times a night to be sick but its still continuing during the day. I also have a chesty cough which isn't helping but I can't seem to get it cleared. I am still bringing up a lot of blood, mostly overnight. Its increasing in the amount and I know I should probably go back and see the doctor again. I worry that maybe its an ulcer or something more than just from wretching. Lets hope not.

On the positive side, I am not anaemic!!!

Week 30

8th March 2010.....

Well our baby is now 30 weeks old, hopefully no more than 10 weeks till we meet her!!

At 30 weeks....

-her lungs and digestive tract are nearly fully developed

- her length will start to slow down now and (hopefully) she'll just be gaining weight

- her eyes are opening and shutting. She is also reacting to light and can see the inside of my uterus

- she has eye brows, eye lashes and the hair on her head is getting thicker

- in just 4 weeks time she'll start to position herself for birth by moving her head down to my pelvis

I thinks its amazing and although, honestly, I can't say at the moment what I have been through and I am going through will be worth the end result, I am sure when we meet her I will change my mind....

Week 29

1st March 2010......

The sickness continues to get worse, I found myself up most nights being sick. I was also sick every single morning, several times and again several times before bed. Most days it continued throughout the day too. Night time sickness brought a lot of fresh blood with it, which I hope stops soon.

On Wednesday, I had a midwife appointment and a hospital appointment. It was rubbish! Everything at my actual appointment was ok. I had a different midwife this weeks, she was a lot nicer! However, my blood pressure was still low and baby is still small. Also, my uterus is measuring a couple of cm smaller than it should be. But she said the baby is fine, heart rate perfect, my urine was clear of ketones or protein so she was quite happy.

It was my 28 week appointment so I was to get bloods taken. The midwife tried to get blood from both arms and failed, she then asked someone else to try, who failed. She sent me to the hospital to a phlebotomist. She tried once on my arm again, and failed. She then tried to get blood from my right hand and failed but.....on the last attempt at my left hand WE GOT BLOOD!! Thank god!!

The midwife thinks I'm anaemic (on top of everything else), so she discussed medication for that. I am not able to take ferrous sulphate, which is what they treat anaemia with, because it causes sickness. She discussed other options like injections or liquids. We'll just need to wait for the results and pray they are ok!! If I am anaemic then I will need regular blood tests which is easier said than done on me!

After all thats excitment I still had my hospital appointment to go to. It was just for the anti-D injection because I have rhesus negative blood. Big jab in my bum (ouch!!) and hopefully that is it!

The rest of the week was taken up with cleaning the house for a baby shower Emma has organised. I'm looking forward to it but also dreading it. You can never tell if the next day will be a good or bad day for sickness. Luckily, it was a good day (although I can't say the same for over night) and I got to enjoy it. We had lots of people around and got lots of lovely gifts!

Week 28

22nd Feb 2010......

This week started bad and unfortunetly didn't end any better.....

I was up overnight on Monday being sick. Its the first time in weeks the sickness has woken me up and I have had to get up during the night. I spent most of Tuesday also being sick. I again struggled to keep any food or drink down and felt completely worn out.

On Wedneday, mum took me to Inverness to stay with her for a couple of days. I was up and down during my stay there and couldn't manage more than a couple of hours out the house. I felt tired, sick and dizzy. I was sick quite a few times and the stemitil I was taking wasn't helping at all. It snowed all day Wednsday, Thursday and Friday, the trains were cancelled and the A9 was closed. I enjoyed my stay with mum but when you feel so unwell you just want your own sofa, tele and bed. So, dad who was also stuck in Inverness decided to chance the drive home.......via Aberdeen. It was scary in places and we got a puncture but 5 hours later I was home.

However, the week didn't get any better, I was sick more than I have been in a few weeks and every day brought more and more sickness. Every morning I was bringing up fresh blood and had a really chesty cough which made breathing difficult. I felt quite down that its getting bad again and I was up again overnight on Saturday and Sunday being sick. But thinking positively, it can only last another 12 weeks.......I'll battle on.......

Week 27

15th Feb 2010....

This week starts in Paris! Got another day left here before the 12 hour journey back. We went to the Eifell tower and on a sightseeing boat on Monday. It was really good. I did a lot of walking, more than I have done in months but I managed. We went out for a nice meal at night time and went to bed for the last time in Paris.

The next morning was my worst nightmare. We had to get the metro at rush hour. One huge thing, as I have mentioned before, about hyperemesis is the need for space. People hugging me or being pressed up against me or just surrounding me is awful. It makes me feel so sick, hot and dizzy. Luckily, it was only for about fifteen minutes (although it felt so much longer!!) and I managed to keep my breakfast to myself! Anyway, we found the eurostar, after a couple of squables, and were on our way home. It passed way too quick but I was still glad to be getting back home.

I spent the rest of the week relaxing and sorting out the house. I was only sick every morning and night and occasionally during the day. Its still hard and not normal but its managable.

Week 26

8th Febuary 2010....

I have been looking forward to this week since Christmas Day.... Its the week I am going to Paris. I am really excited but at the same time wondering how I am going to managing the 12 hour journey there and back.

The beginning of the week was ok, I was still managing to eat and drink quite well. I phoned the doctor on Tuesday as my line for work was nearly up. He signed me off again for another 4 weeks and has told me he doesn't think I will have the strength to go back even if the hyperemesis does go away. It was disappointing to hear but I supppose expected.

Thursday came and I started to feel really unwell again. I was being sick quite a few times a day. I thought it must just be the worry of going away at the weekend and I pray it gets better.

We left the house about 8am on Saturday to go to the train station to start the first part of our journey. I was sick before we left the house but I wasn't sick again until we reached our hotel in Paris! What a releif!! On Sunday (valentines day), we explored some of Paris, I was really tired but I managed surprisingly well. We went out for a nice Thai/Chinese meal at night time. I was sick again when we got back to the hotel but it was nothing compared to normal!

Week 25

1st Feb 2010.....

The week started quite good, I was still very sick but I felt I had it under control.

On Wednesday, I had my first appointment with the community midwife. I wasn't very impressed by her. She wasn't concerned about...... well anything! I had very low blood pressure (which I have had since I got pregnant) but she said "we'll just keep an eye on it", I had blood in my urine but she said "thats normal during pregnancy", I told her my baby hasn't been moving so much since I have been taking stemitil but she said "just sit down and have a cold drink"..... She also said that unless I am going to breastfeed then there is no point in going to antenatal classes and just read a book instead!!! I disagreed so she told me to phone the hospital and find out about the classes myself. Anyway, she felt baby and listened to the heartbeat. She said that I have a small baby and lots of fluid but thats nothing to worry about.

By Wednesday night, I was vomiting blood again. I do tell everyone its normal and everythings ok but inside I do worry. Obviously vomiting blood isn't normal however the doctor said that it is caused by wretching. I don't think I have been wretching this week but I leave it (as usual) and will see how it goes.

I started to feel a bit better by the end of this week. I am not being sick as much and I think I am managing to keep more food down......... here's hoping!!!!

Week 25

A bit about Hyperemesis....

Hyperemesis is a very rare condition and is suffered by only 0.3 - 2% of pregnant woman. I am one of 5% of these woman who suffer it past week 20.

From what I have researched, experts only describe hyperemesis as "excessive vomiting in pregnancy". There is very little information on the condition and what is available is mostly written by sufferers.

Symptoms I have suffered include.....

- Vomiting, food/drink, bile or blood (dried and fresh)
- Sensitive gag reflex
- Constipation
- Difficulty sleeping
- Dizziness (very low blood pressure)
- Ketosis
- Thirst (but unable to drink)
- Very dry skin
- Tachycardia
- Headache
- Confusion
- Extreme fatigue
- Very quick weight loss
- Unable to stand any movement i.e. walking, travelling
- Lonliness, being very down

The cause of hyperemesis is unknown. It is thought that you are at increased risk if you have a baby at a young age, if it is your first baby, if family (mothers, sisters) have suffered it, a twin pregnancy, Vitamin B deficiancy....

I am classed as a young mother, this is my first baby and my mum and grandma both experienced extreme morning sickness. My grandma was bed bound with all three pregnancies and my mum had severe and extended all day sickness.

Emotional support....

An important part of hyperemesis, which is ALWAYS bypassed, is the emotional side. There is very very little information or support on this. After doing a bit of research I am finding everything says that your partner should be providing emotional support. What about them? For example, Steve struggles enough himself without providing emotional support to me too. Also, I am unable to work so he has too and he does, a lot. So what do you do then? There is no support elsewhere, why?

I feel like nobody actually understands the condition so your met with people thinking your playing the system for time off work or your throwing up for some attention. It leaves you feeling very isolated.

Things people have said to me include....

- "just stop thinking about it and get some fresh air"

- "think about your baby, you have to eat and drink"

- "don't you know that medication can harm your baby?"

- "don't think negatively or it'll never go away"

- "get yourself out and about it'll help"

- "eat ginger biscuits", "drink ginger beer", "eat crackers", "drink milk", "suck sweets"

- "you need to make sure your eating the right foods for that baby"

So, I know people are trying to help but fresh air, ginger or sucking mints IS NOT GOING TO HELP. Getting fresh air and "out and about" is impossible at times, would you walk about the street throwing up? Eating at all, never mind healthy food, is a huge deal. Neither me or the baby would still be living if I refused any medication. And lastly, I WISH that thinking positive thoughts would stop hyperemesis but unfortunetly it doesn't help AT ALL!!

Week 24

25th January 2010..........

Monday came quickely, I am on a late shift today. I am very tired after my shift yesterday. I was sick when I got up, then took my tablet and got ready for work. Again, I managed to get there without stopping my car. The shift was ok, I was sick a few times, struggled to eat anything and was very very tired. Everyone on my shift again were helpful. Monday night time was terrible. I was up the whole night being sick. I phoned work at 3.30am to say that I won't manage the next day. I had been bringing up a lot of fresh blood which really worried me (although this had happened before). I eventually got to bed and to sleep about 5am and slept most of the next day. I made a doctors appointment for Wednsday.

The doctor wasn't aware that I had tried to work again and explained to me that he doesn't think that I will manage to work from now until the birth. I was disappointed to hear this as I was hoping I would try again. He signed me back off work for the moment.

It took me a few more days to get a bit better again and get the ketones out my urine. I was still being sick for the rest of the week but not anywhere near as bad as the beginning of the week.....

Week 23

18th January 2010.....

This is the week I am intending on going back to work..... I am worrying about how I will cope. I can't believe after 4 months off work and at 6 months pregnant I am not allowed to phase myself back in to work. Anyway I am willing to try!

The couple of days lead up was awful. I was very sick, unable to eat or drink and had ketones in my urine. I was very tired as I was unable to sleep. However, I put it down to the worry of returning to work. I was due back on Wednesday the 20th but I was actually on days off until Sunday the 24th.

Sunday came, I got up early, got myself ready and was sick before I left the house (not a good start). Anyway, I took a tablet and off I went. I managed to get to work without having to stop the car. I walked in, got changed and was sick again. I was a few minutes early so I made a cup of tea and sat down. It was nice to see everyone and be in the company of others rather than the same few I have seen over the last 4 months. I was lucky that my colleagues were understanding and helped me out a bit. I managed the whole day and went home proud but spent the evening being very sick. I went to bed ready to start a new shift tomorrow.....

Week 22

11th January 2010....

It has been quite an uneventful week this week. I have been quite sick again and I am again taking medication every day. It is disappointing as I keep thinking the sickness has stopped and then I realise it is only the medication keeping it away.

I have decided I am going to try and go back to work now. My date for returning is the 20th January although I am on days off so I am not actually back until the 24th. I was hoping to get phased return as I have been off now for 4 months and I know I will really struggle to work full time straight away. However, I have been told I will not get phased return because I don't have a physical illness (which I strongly disagree with as dehydration was certainly physical).... I lost about a stone and a half within 3 weeks. Now though, I am only a couple of pounds below what the minimum weight I should be when 22 weeks pregnant (based on my height and normal weight) so I am really pleased.

I have something to look forward this week.... Steve had organised a trip to London to see Grease at Piccadilly Theatre this weekend. I am really looking forward to getting away for a night. The weekend came and went quickly but I really enjoyed it. I was so tired after travelling and walking in London and that made me feel quite sick but I managed through it without a problem. I was so tired when I got home on Sunday night but it had been worth it.

Just a week left to get myself ready for getting back to work.....

Week 21

4th January 2010

It was Steve's birthday on Monday, luckily I felt ok and we went to Stirling to a baby shop and then to Frankie and Benny's for dinner. I was full half way through my starter but it was nice to be able to enjoy his birthday. It was nice to get out and feel normal again for a while.

The rest of the week was good. This has been my best week so far and I am now aiming to get back to work on the 20th January. I just need to start eating and drinking better to build my strength back up.

On Friday, we had the "20 weeks scan". I was really nervous all week. I was worried they'd find a problem since I hadn't been eating very well. I still can't understand how a baby can survive on so little! Anyway, SHE was very healthy, no problems at all and yes, we found out we are having a wee girl. We were and are so happy. It was expected though, we did think it was a little girl. The midwife struggled to scan her because she was so lively! She was kicking away and obviously didn't enjoy being disturbed.

Steve is now feeling proper kicking as its really strong now. Emma also got to feel her moving about and kicking away. The weekend was good and we went to look at baby stuff and pick up a few things. Four months to go...its going very quickely!!

Week 20

28th December 2009

This week hasn't been so good. I am being sick every day and my tablets are helping but not preventing it. I am glad I managed to enjoy Christmas even though I didn't get such a good New Year.....

I am aiming to get back to work on the 20th January. I will be so glad to get to interact with people again although I do have a few worries. I have to have found a tablet which stops me being sick but also doesn't cause drowsiness. I am worried about the tiredness as the sickness is much worse when tired. I am worried about working in a small, hot anaesthetic room with lots of people. I am worried about how I will manage to work on the little amounts of food I am putting in my body. But needs must and I have to work to get paid!

The baby is kicking quite a bit now and I am feeling him/her every day. It is nice to know, even though I am suffering, the baby is quite happy in there!! Next week we will have the 20 week scan so fingers crossed everything is ok. It is difficult to understand how a baby can survive through this. He/she has survived weeks of me not eating or drinking, they have also managed to live through all the drugs I have had to put into my body. They have also managed to live through the stress and depression I have felt over the last 4 months. I think its amazing and they must be a real fighter!!