Week 30

8th March 2010.....

I feel like this is never going to end and some days I just accept that this is the way my life now is. Its a hard, depressing and lonely life but its still a million times better than 4 months ago. Most days are just wasted, I am tired after hoovering a room or putting a load in the washing machine. It makes me feel pathetic and I tell myself to just get on with it. How will I ever be able to look after a baby? I know the sickness will have left me by then but it'll take time to get any strength back. I feel like I will be a useless mum who won't have the strength to care for their baby. Fortunately, I am in the position where Steve can take that bit longer off to help me for the first few weeks. I am meant to be looking forward to our babies arrival...........

I was just exhausted this week. I was so tired which meant I was sick a lot. For some reason the sickness is much worse overnight which is horrible. I am woken up several times a night to be sick but its still continuing during the day. I also have a chesty cough which isn't helping but I can't seem to get it cleared. I am still bringing up a lot of blood, mostly overnight. Its increasing in the amount and I know I should probably go back and see the doctor again. I worry that maybe its an ulcer or something more than just from wretching. Lets hope not.

On the positive side, I am not anaemic!!!

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