Week 18

14th December 2009......

Its week 18! I don't even look 12 weeks pregnant, everyone keeps telling me I'm lucky but it just makes me worry. I worry that the baby is small because I've been so sick or even worse...stopped growing. However, I am still being sick so I suppose, in a horrible way, that's a good sign.

Steve is back to work this week so I'm back to being on my own although I have a lot on, trying to see people before Christmas. Friday is the only day I'm on my own. Emotionally, I am feeling a lot better, I think with the excitement of Christmas and having lots of people around it has made me feel a bit better. I am managing to get out a bit more too. I think being stuck in the house is the worst thing for anyone, you really do feel depressed and lonely. I did it for at least two months and I really feel for anyone who is permanently house-bound.

Physically, I am still being sick occasionally and still suffering awful headaches. On top of that I am having really bad pelvic pain which isn't very nice. I am still not eating very much which is making me very tired. I spent two hours cleaning the house on Wednesday and I was extremely tired for the rest of the day and I was sick that night a couple of times before bed.

Its Christmas next week!! In a way, I'm my normal excited self but also not so excited because each day is unpredictable. I don't know how I will feel on Christmas day. We have had so many invitations but I have turned them all down because I don't want someone spending hours preparing a meal I won't eat. I don't know how Steve feels about it just being the two of us and cooking for ourselves but hopefully he doesn't mind. I'll just pray Christmas day is a good day!