Week 29

1st March 2010......

The sickness continues to get worse, I found myself up most nights being sick. I was also sick every single morning, several times and again several times before bed. Most days it continued throughout the day too. Night time sickness brought a lot of fresh blood with it, which I hope stops soon.

On Wednesday, I had a midwife appointment and a hospital appointment. It was rubbish! Everything at my actual appointment was ok. I had a different midwife this weeks, she was a lot nicer! However, my blood pressure was still low and baby is still small. Also, my uterus is measuring a couple of cm smaller than it should be. But she said the baby is fine, heart rate perfect, my urine was clear of ketones or protein so she was quite happy.

It was my 28 week appointment so I was to get bloods taken. The midwife tried to get blood from both arms and failed, she then asked someone else to try, who failed. She sent me to the hospital to a phlebotomist. She tried once on my arm again, and failed. She then tried to get blood from my right hand and failed but.....on the last attempt at my left hand WE GOT BLOOD!! Thank god!!

The midwife thinks I'm anaemic (on top of everything else), so she discussed medication for that. I am not able to take ferrous sulphate, which is what they treat anaemia with, because it causes sickness. She discussed other options like injections or liquids. We'll just need to wait for the results and pray they are ok!! If I am anaemic then I will need regular blood tests which is easier said than done on me!

After all thats excitment I still had my hospital appointment to go to. It was just for the anti-D injection because I have rhesus negative blood. Big jab in my bum (ouch!!) and hopefully that is it!

The rest of the week was taken up with cleaning the house for a baby shower Emma has organised. I'm looking forward to it but also dreading it. You can never tell if the next day will be a good or bad day for sickness. Luckily, it was a good day (although I can't say the same for over night) and I got to enjoy it. We had lots of people around and got lots of lovely gifts!

Week 28

22nd Feb 2010......

This week started bad and unfortunetly didn't end any better.....

I was up overnight on Monday being sick. Its the first time in weeks the sickness has woken me up and I have had to get up during the night. I spent most of Tuesday also being sick. I again struggled to keep any food or drink down and felt completely worn out.

On Wedneday, mum took me to Inverness to stay with her for a couple of days. I was up and down during my stay there and couldn't manage more than a couple of hours out the house. I felt tired, sick and dizzy. I was sick quite a few times and the stemitil I was taking wasn't helping at all. It snowed all day Wednsday, Thursday and Friday, the trains were cancelled and the A9 was closed. I enjoyed my stay with mum but when you feel so unwell you just want your own sofa, tele and bed. So, dad who was also stuck in Inverness decided to chance the drive home.......via Aberdeen. It was scary in places and we got a puncture but 5 hours later I was home.

However, the week didn't get any better, I was sick more than I have been in a few weeks and every day brought more and more sickness. Every morning I was bringing up fresh blood and had a really chesty cough which made breathing difficult. I felt quite down that its getting bad again and I was up again overnight on Saturday and Sunday being sick. But thinking positively, it can only last another 12 weeks.......I'll battle on.......

Week 27

15th Feb 2010....

This week starts in Paris! Got another day left here before the 12 hour journey back. We went to the Eifell tower and on a sightseeing boat on Monday. It was really good. I did a lot of walking, more than I have done in months but I managed. We went out for a nice meal at night time and went to bed for the last time in Paris.

The next morning was my worst nightmare. We had to get the metro at rush hour. One huge thing, as I have mentioned before, about hyperemesis is the need for space. People hugging me or being pressed up against me or just surrounding me is awful. It makes me feel so sick, hot and dizzy. Luckily, it was only for about fifteen minutes (although it felt so much longer!!) and I managed to keep my breakfast to myself! Anyway, we found the eurostar, after a couple of squables, and were on our way home. It passed way too quick but I was still glad to be getting back home.

I spent the rest of the week relaxing and sorting out the house. I was only sick every morning and night and occasionally during the day. Its still hard and not normal but its managable.

Week 26

8th Febuary 2010....

I have been looking forward to this week since Christmas Day.... Its the week I am going to Paris. I am really excited but at the same time wondering how I am going to managing the 12 hour journey there and back.

The beginning of the week was ok, I was still managing to eat and drink quite well. I phoned the doctor on Tuesday as my line for work was nearly up. He signed me off again for another 4 weeks and has told me he doesn't think I will have the strength to go back even if the hyperemesis does go away. It was disappointing to hear but I supppose expected.

Thursday came and I started to feel really unwell again. I was being sick quite a few times a day. I thought it must just be the worry of going away at the weekend and I pray it gets better.

We left the house about 8am on Saturday to go to the train station to start the first part of our journey. I was sick before we left the house but I wasn't sick again until we reached our hotel in Paris! What a releif!! On Sunday (valentines day), we explored some of Paris, I was really tired but I managed surprisingly well. We went out for a nice Thai/Chinese meal at night time. I was sick again when we got back to the hotel but it was nothing compared to normal!

Week 25

1st Feb 2010.....

The week started quite good, I was still very sick but I felt I had it under control.

On Wednesday, I had my first appointment with the community midwife. I wasn't very impressed by her. She wasn't concerned about...... well anything! I had very low blood pressure (which I have had since I got pregnant) but she said "we'll just keep an eye on it", I had blood in my urine but she said "thats normal during pregnancy", I told her my baby hasn't been moving so much since I have been taking stemitil but she said "just sit down and have a cold drink"..... She also said that unless I am going to breastfeed then there is no point in going to antenatal classes and just read a book instead!!! I disagreed so she told me to phone the hospital and find out about the classes myself. Anyway, she felt baby and listened to the heartbeat. She said that I have a small baby and lots of fluid but thats nothing to worry about.

By Wednesday night, I was vomiting blood again. I do tell everyone its normal and everythings ok but inside I do worry. Obviously vomiting blood isn't normal however the doctor said that it is caused by wretching. I don't think I have been wretching this week but I leave it (as usual) and will see how it goes.

I started to feel a bit better by the end of this week. I am not being sick as much and I think I am managing to keep more food down......... here's hoping!!!!

Week 25

A bit about Hyperemesis....


Hyperemesis is a very rare condition and is suffered by only 0.3 - 2% of pregnant woman. I am one of 5% of these woman who suffer it past week 20.

From what I have researched, experts only describe hyperemesis as "excessive vomiting in pregnancy". There is very little information on the condition and what is available is mostly written by sufferers.


Symptoms I have suffered include.....

- Vomiting, food/drink, bile or blood (dried and fresh)
- Sensitive gag reflex
- Constipation
- Difficulty sleeping
- Dizziness (very low blood pressure)
- Ketosis
- Thirst (but unable to drink)
- Very dry skin
- Tachycardia
- Headache
- Confusion
- Extreme fatigue
- Very quick weight loss
- Unable to stand any movement i.e. walking, travelling
- Lonliness, being very down


The cause of hyperemesis is unknown. It is thought that you are at increased risk if you have a baby at a young age, if it is your first baby, if family (mothers, sisters) have suffered it, a twin pregnancy, Vitamin B deficiancy....

I am classed as a young mother, this is my first baby and my mum and grandma both experienced extreme morning sickness. My grandma was bed bound with all three pregnancies and my mum had severe and extended all day sickness.



Emotional support....

An important part of hyperemesis, which is ALWAYS bypassed, is the emotional side. There is very very little information or support on this. After doing a bit of research I am finding everything says that your partner should be providing emotional support. What about them? For example, Steve struggles enough himself without providing emotional support to me too. Also, I am unable to work so he has too and he does, a lot. So what do you do then? There is no support elsewhere, why?

I feel like nobody actually understands the condition so your met with people thinking your playing the system for time off work or your throwing up for some attention. It leaves you feeling very isolated.




Things people have said to me include....


- "just stop thinking about it and get some fresh air"

- "think about your baby, you have to eat and drink"

- "don't you know that medication can harm your baby?"

- "don't think negatively or it'll never go away"

- "get yourself out and about it'll help"

- "eat ginger biscuits", "drink ginger beer", "eat crackers", "drink milk", "suck sweets"

- "you need to make sure your eating the right foods for that baby"

So, I know people are trying to help but fresh air, ginger or sucking mints IS NOT GOING TO HELP. Getting fresh air and "out and about" is impossible at times, would you walk about the street throwing up? Eating at all, never mind healthy food, is a huge deal. Neither me or the baby would still be living if I refused any medication. And lastly, I WISH that thinking positive thoughts would stop hyperemesis but unfortunetly it doesn't help AT ALL!!

Week 24

25th January 2010..........

Monday came quickely, I am on a late shift today. I am very tired after my shift yesterday. I was sick when I got up, then took my tablet and got ready for work. Again, I managed to get there without stopping my car. The shift was ok, I was sick a few times, struggled to eat anything and was very very tired. Everyone on my shift again were helpful. Monday night time was terrible. I was up the whole night being sick. I phoned work at 3.30am to say that I won't manage the next day. I had been bringing up a lot of fresh blood which really worried me (although this had happened before). I eventually got to bed and to sleep about 5am and slept most of the next day. I made a doctors appointment for Wednsday.

The doctor wasn't aware that I had tried to work again and explained to me that he doesn't think that I will manage to work from now until the birth. I was disappointed to hear this as I was hoping I would try again. He signed me back off work for the moment.

It took me a few more days to get a bit better again and get the ketones out my urine. I was still being sick for the rest of the week but not anywhere near as bad as the beginning of the week.....

Week 23

18th January 2010.....

This is the week I am intending on going back to work..... I am worrying about how I will cope. I can't believe after 4 months off work and at 6 months pregnant I am not allowed to phase myself back in to work. Anyway I am willing to try!

The couple of days lead up was awful. I was very sick, unable to eat or drink and had ketones in my urine. I was very tired as I was unable to sleep. However, I put it down to the worry of returning to work. I was due back on Wednesday the 20th but I was actually on days off until Sunday the 24th.

Sunday came, I got up early, got myself ready and was sick before I left the house (not a good start). Anyway, I took a tablet and off I went. I managed to get to work without having to stop the car. I walked in, got changed and was sick again. I was a few minutes early so I made a cup of tea and sat down. It was nice to see everyone and be in the company of others rather than the same few I have seen over the last 4 months. I was lucky that my colleagues were understanding and helped me out a bit. I managed the whole day and went home proud but spent the evening being very sick. I went to bed ready to start a new shift tomorrow.....

Week 22

11th January 2010....

It has been quite an uneventful week this week. I have been quite sick again and I am again taking medication every day. It is disappointing as I keep thinking the sickness has stopped and then I realise it is only the medication keeping it away.

I have decided I am going to try and go back to work now. My date for returning is the 20th January although I am on days off so I am not actually back until the 24th. I was hoping to get phased return as I have been off now for 4 months and I know I will really struggle to work full time straight away. However, I have been told I will not get phased return because I don't have a physical illness (which I strongly disagree with as dehydration was certainly physical).... I lost about a stone and a half within 3 weeks. Now though, I am only a couple of pounds below what the minimum weight I should be when 22 weeks pregnant (based on my height and normal weight) so I am really pleased.

I have something to look forward this week.... Steve had organised a trip to London to see Grease at Piccadilly Theatre this weekend. I am really looking forward to getting away for a night. The weekend came and went quickly but I really enjoyed it. I was so tired after travelling and walking in London and that made me feel quite sick but I managed through it without a problem. I was so tired when I got home on Sunday night but it had been worth it.

Just a week left to get myself ready for getting back to work.....

Week 21

4th January 2010

It was Steve's birthday on Monday, luckily I felt ok and we went to Stirling to a baby shop and then to Frankie and Benny's for dinner. I was full half way through my starter but it was nice to be able to enjoy his birthday. It was nice to get out and feel normal again for a while.

The rest of the week was good. This has been my best week so far and I am now aiming to get back to work on the 20th January. I just need to start eating and drinking better to build my strength back up.

On Friday, we had the "20 weeks scan". I was really nervous all week. I was worried they'd find a problem since I hadn't been eating very well. I still can't understand how a baby can survive on so little! Anyway, SHE was very healthy, no problems at all and yes, we found out we are having a wee girl. We were and are so happy. It was expected though, we did think it was a little girl. The midwife struggled to scan her because she was so lively! She was kicking away and obviously didn't enjoy being disturbed.

Steve is now feeling proper kicking as its really strong now. Emma also got to feel her moving about and kicking away. The weekend was good and we went to look at baby stuff and pick up a few things. Four months to go...its going very quickely!!

Week 20

28th December 2009

This week hasn't been so good. I am being sick every day and my tablets are helping but not preventing it. I am glad I managed to enjoy Christmas even though I didn't get such a good New Year.....

I am aiming to get back to work on the 20th January. I will be so glad to get to interact with people again although I do have a few worries. I have to have found a tablet which stops me being sick but also doesn't cause drowsiness. I am worried about the tiredness as the sickness is much worse when tired. I am worried about working in a small, hot anaesthetic room with lots of people. I am worried about how I will manage to work on the little amounts of food I am putting in my body. But needs must and I have to work to get paid!

The baby is kicking quite a bit now and I am feeling him/her every day. It is nice to know, even though I am suffering, the baby is quite happy in there!! Next week we will have the 20 week scan so fingers crossed everything is ok. It is difficult to understand how a baby can survive through this. He/she has survived weeks of me not eating or drinking, they have also managed to live through all the drugs I have had to put into my body. They have also managed to live through the stress and depression I have felt over the last 4 months. I think its amazing and they must be a real fighter!!

Week 19

21st December 2009....

I have been quite unwell the last few days. The reason is simply because I have been trying to live on only one pill alone. I have been really sick, not eating and I have been drinking very little. This is how I was a couple of weeks before my last hospital stay. I have a doctors appointment on Wednesday so I am hoping I will just be put back on both pills again....especially so I can enjoy Christmas at least....

On Monday, I had my first visit from the health visitor. I wasn't having a very good day and struggled not to be sick during our appointment. She was quite interested in the hyperemesis, more so the emotional effects. We spoke about how emotionally draining, upsetting and lonely it can make you feel and it was nice to have someone who just listened. I told her I wasn't keen to breastfeed and was waiting for the usual healthcare workers lecture.... When I explained that hyperemesis has made me housebound and unable to do anything and that I feel breastfeeding will do the same, she understood that I needed a bit of a life back and breastfeeding is very tying.

On Wednesday, I had my doctors appointment. He could see I had taken a few steps back again. He put me back on ondansetron and decided to try me on stemitil also. What a relief. He also signed me off work for another four weeks and explained that he can't put me back yet. When I arrived home the doctor phoned me to tell me he had been in touch with an obstetrician. He had suggested we tested my urine for ketones and told me that if it was "+++" I would need to be readmitted. I couldn't believe he'd put me back there two days before Christmas!! Anyway, I went back the next day and it was only "+" ao I was very pleased!!

It was Christmas on Friday. I wasn't sick at all and I had a very nice day. I think the best bit without a doubt was my present(s) from Steve. I got lots of nice stuff from him.....a bag and purse from Jane Norman, a family photo shoot, a pet photo shoot, vouchers for Jane Norman, the IT crowd box set, La Senza pj's and a dressing gown, a Sesky watch, a Bench hoody........and a trip to Paris!!!! I can't wait. Dad came to visit us and we went to see Steve's mum and dad and grandma and grandpa. Then we came home and had our steak Christmas dinner.

Boxing day was also good. We went to dad's house for a buffet. Again, I felt great. I was a bit sick over the weekend, I think I had overdone it but it was worth it!

Week 18

14th December 2009......

Its week 18! I don't even look 12 weeks pregnant, everyone keeps telling me I'm lucky but it just makes me worry. I worry that the baby is small because I've been so sick or even worse...stopped growing. However, I am still being sick so I suppose, in a horrible way, that's a good sign.

Steve is back to work this week so I'm back to being on my own although I have a lot on, trying to see people before Christmas. Friday is the only day I'm on my own. Emotionally, I am feeling a lot better, I think with the excitement of Christmas and having lots of people around it has made me feel a bit better. I am managing to get out a bit more too. I think being stuck in the house is the worst thing for anyone, you really do feel depressed and lonely. I did it for at least two months and I really feel for anyone who is permanently house-bound.

Physically, I am still being sick occasionally and still suffering awful headaches. On top of that I am having really bad pelvic pain which isn't very nice. I am still not eating very much which is making me very tired. I spent two hours cleaning the house on Wednesday and I was extremely tired for the rest of the day and I was sick that night a couple of times before bed.

Its Christmas next week!! In a way, I'm my normal excited self but also not so excited because each day is unpredictable. I don't know how I will feel on Christmas day. We have had so many invitations but I have turned them all down because I don't want someone spending hours preparing a meal I won't eat. I don't know how Steve feels about it just being the two of us and cooking for ourselves but hopefully he doesn't mind. I'll just pray Christmas day is a good day!

Week 17

7th December 2009

Steve is off on holiday this week so I will be glad of the company. There is a few things we'd like to do so hopefully I will be up to helping. This could be Steve's last holiday before baby is here so we've decided to paint the spare bedroom. Also we had to floor the attic and put a bannister on the stairs.

I have still been suffering from really bad headaches but they're managable. I decided to try and reduce my medication this week. The first couple of days I took one less cyclizine at night time which was ok, I reduced it more and more until I was able to just manage on ondansetron. The cyclizine makes me slow and drowsy so it was great to have a few days relief from it! I was sick a few times while trying different medication but it was managable. I still felt very nauseous so my eating has reduced even more. Some days I will only have a roll and some crisps and thats more than enough but then some days I do manage a bit more.

At the weekend we travelled up to mums in Inverness for the night. I was sick a few times before we left but after a couple of pills I was ok. It was nice to get away for the night but the actual act of doing something and being somewhere else made me really tired which makes me feel more nauseous or physically sick.

Anyway.... its week 17.....surely can't be much longer!!!

Week 16

30th November 2009


This week hasn't been such a good week. I have been feeling very nauseous and was sick several times on Tuesday night. I have been unable to eat so much, most days just having a sandwich or picking at a few things. This is the first time in my life I have wanted to want a huge takeaway binge!!

I have also been suffering very bad headaches for the last few days. Obviously when your pregnant you can't take a lot of medication so I've just had to put up with them. Compared to the sickness and nausea the headaches are more than managable.

I had another doctors appointment on Monday for more medication and another sick line for work. The doctor confirmed what I already knew...... that he does not know anything about hyperemesis. He asked whether the midwife, at my booking appointment, had suggested what medication I could take and if she told me when my hyperemesis would finish. I looked at him confused when he asked the second question, he's meant to be a doctor!! There is no date for it to stop, it can stop at any time or continue on until I give birth. He signed me off for another four weeks and gave me a repeat prescription (just the same as every other doctors appointment!!).

We went baby shopping for the first time at the weekend. It was good and I think we both enjoyed it. We bought a couple of baby outfits, a teddy the same size as me for babies bedroom and a pram!! We had no intention of buying something like that at 16 weeks but it was far too good a deal to pass on and we had to get it. It was the first time I have actually felt pregnant and not just ill.

Week 15

23rd November

This is the day I have written all these blogs. I have written it from how I remembered it as I never kept any kind of diary. Everyone keeps telling me I will forget how bad it actually was. Yes I might forget the severity of the sickness but I don't ever think I will forget the feeling of lonliness and unhappiness.

Having a baby is meant to be one of the happiest moments of your life but hyperemesis quickely takes any happiness away from you.

Everyone keeps asking why I am not excited - how can I be excited when I have this horrible illness which at the moment is just being masked by drugs? I can't allow myself to get excited when every single day I am putting our baby at risk by taking drugs for sickness.

I don't want sympathy from anyone, all I want is for people to understand what hyperemesis does to peoples lifes. I have been lucky as so far Steve, my family and my friends have stuck by me, not everyones lives stay the same. Many relationships break down due to hyperemesis, many people lose friends and family.

This blog has only been about how I felt during the last few weeks. I know and will never forget how it affected others too, especially Steve. He has sat through night after night of vomiting, he has gone out to the shops to get me anything that I would possibly eat/drink, he put up with me shouting and blaming him for everything, he listened to me crying for no reason and he even missed football!!!

Mum, Dad and Emma also helped me a lot and I caused them a lot of worry. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't have phoned NHS 24, I wouldn't have gone in to hospital when I did and there is a big possibility I wouldn't be here now.

Week 14

16th November

Some days are good, some are bad......... The drugs were still helping. Some days I felt sicker and tireder than others. Some days I had a few minutes where I actually got to forget I had hyperemesis. Some days I couldn't eat at all. Some days I ate a steak dinner! I never knew what the next day could bring but as long as it wasn't vomiting I didn't care.

In some ways this time, emotionally, is harder than when I was actually vomiting. I guess you feel people are now thinking that I'm not physically being sick now so why am I not just getting on with it and getting back to work.

I don't think people realise that for week after week, a person with hyperemesis can be house bound and sofa/bed bound! Your body begins to eat into your muscle because all your fat has been used. Your body has been starved of food and fluid and it takes a long time to build it back up again.

This week, we went to the hospital for another scan so Steve got to see his baby looking like a baby for the first time. We also had the booking appointment which was good. Steve, me and our families have such boring medical history that the appointment didn't take long.

Week 13

I went back to the doctor on Monday and he prescribed me ondansetron as well as cyclizine as he did not want me vomiting at all. Both these drugs together worked and it was a huge relief (again). I was still too weak to work just now, it'll take a few weeks to built myself back up.

I went out for a couple of hours every second day and I am very thankful to the people who took the time to take me out. I couldn't drive myself as the cyclizine made me drowsy. It was so hard depending on others, I havn't done it in a long time and its horrible having to do it.

The cyclizine made me drowsy and I slurred my words, I was also dizzy after being on my feet for 1/2 hour because of low blood pressure.

I felt much better emotionally but I still had that feeling of being alone and not being understood!!

Week 12

2nd November

I was sent home from hospital on cyclizine alone. For the first few days this was ok. I was eating little amounts and trying to keep my fluid intake up.

People began to act a bit different now I had been in hospital and for the first time been diagnosed with Hyperemesis. Finally!! I hoped now people would realise it wasn't over-reacting or making a big deal out of nothing. However, this isn't the case because nobody knows anything about hyperemesis. Severe sickness - thats about as far as the understanding goes. Nobody realises the emotional effects - the depression, the lonliness, the anger. Nobody understands the other physical effects - the tiredness, unable to live a normal life.

I done some reading myself on hyperemesis otherwise I would have only known what I experienced. I think hyperemesis is an illness like depression - you can only fully understand it after you have personally experienced it.

I struggled this week trying to get out a couple of times but it was so tiring! I found the days I went out worse with nausea and by the end of the week I had started vomiting again.

Weekend - Week 11

31st October

My hospital stay

I woke up the next morning in Ninewells and felt so much better. I was sick a couple of times but after another injection that stopped. I was put on cyclizine, ondansetron and stemetil. I managed to drink and I managed to eat (very little but still more than I had the last week).

Litre after litre of fluid was put up attached to my hand. The feeling of depression had gone, even though I was in hospital (my worst nightmare) I was free from the sickness. It wasn't controlling my life anymore.

My urine and fluid intake, orally and IV, was closely monitored. I was desperate to go home but the doctor said I would be in at least another night. She explained that I was very close to losing my life, my body had begun shutting down and my blood had began clotting. She questioned me on how I managed to get in to the state I had, she questioned why no doctor had admitted me or put me on medication before now. Finally, someone understood. She stood in amazement as I told her about my trips to the doctors, how I was told it was ok and sent away each time with a sick line.

I was given injections to thin my blood, more IV fluids, more anti-emetics but I would take this any day over the sickness.

Later on the next day I was allowed home after 13 bags of IV fluids, more blood tests and an ultrasound scan. I had the scan alone because of the circumstances and I was a bit disappointed Steve couldn't be there. Baby was fine, a little small but fine.