Week 19

21st December 2009....

I have been quite unwell the last few days. The reason is simply because I have been trying to live on only one pill alone. I have been really sick, not eating and I have been drinking very little. This is how I was a couple of weeks before my last hospital stay. I have a doctors appointment on Wednesday so I am hoping I will just be put back on both pills again....especially so I can enjoy Christmas at least....

On Monday, I had my first visit from the health visitor. I wasn't having a very good day and struggled not to be sick during our appointment. She was quite interested in the hyperemesis, more so the emotional effects. We spoke about how emotionally draining, upsetting and lonely it can make you feel and it was nice to have someone who just listened. I told her I wasn't keen to breastfeed and was waiting for the usual healthcare workers lecture.... When I explained that hyperemesis has made me housebound and unable to do anything and that I feel breastfeeding will do the same, she understood that I needed a bit of a life back and breastfeeding is very tying.

On Wednesday, I had my doctors appointment. He could see I had taken a few steps back again. He put me back on ondansetron and decided to try me on stemitil also. What a relief. He also signed me off work for another four weeks and explained that he can't put me back yet. When I arrived home the doctor phoned me to tell me he had been in touch with an obstetrician. He had suggested we tested my urine for ketones and told me that if it was "+++" I would need to be readmitted. I couldn't believe he'd put me back there two days before Christmas!! Anyway, I went back the next day and it was only "+" ao I was very pleased!!

It was Christmas on Friday. I wasn't sick at all and I had a very nice day. I think the best bit without a doubt was my present(s) from Steve. I got lots of nice stuff from him.....a bag and purse from Jane Norman, a family photo shoot, a pet photo shoot, vouchers for Jane Norman, the IT crowd box set, La Senza pj's and a dressing gown, a Sesky watch, a Bench hoody........and a trip to Paris!!!! I can't wait. Dad came to visit us and we went to see Steve's mum and dad and grandma and grandpa. Then we came home and had our steak Christmas dinner.

Boxing day was also good. We went to dad's house for a buffet. Again, I felt great. I was a bit sick over the weekend, I think I had overdone it but it was worth it!

Week 18

14th December 2009......

Its week 18! I don't even look 12 weeks pregnant, everyone keeps telling me I'm lucky but it just makes me worry. I worry that the baby is small because I've been so sick or even worse...stopped growing. However, I am still being sick so I suppose, in a horrible way, that's a good sign.

Steve is back to work this week so I'm back to being on my own although I have a lot on, trying to see people before Christmas. Friday is the only day I'm on my own. Emotionally, I am feeling a lot better, I think with the excitement of Christmas and having lots of people around it has made me feel a bit better. I am managing to get out a bit more too. I think being stuck in the house is the worst thing for anyone, you really do feel depressed and lonely. I did it for at least two months and I really feel for anyone who is permanently house-bound.

Physically, I am still being sick occasionally and still suffering awful headaches. On top of that I am having really bad pelvic pain which isn't very nice. I am still not eating very much which is making me very tired. I spent two hours cleaning the house on Wednesday and I was extremely tired for the rest of the day and I was sick that night a couple of times before bed.

Its Christmas next week!! In a way, I'm my normal excited self but also not so excited because each day is unpredictable. I don't know how I will feel on Christmas day. We have had so many invitations but I have turned them all down because I don't want someone spending hours preparing a meal I won't eat. I don't know how Steve feels about it just being the two of us and cooking for ourselves but hopefully he doesn't mind. I'll just pray Christmas day is a good day!

Week 17

7th December 2009

Steve is off on holiday this week so I will be glad of the company. There is a few things we'd like to do so hopefully I will be up to helping. This could be Steve's last holiday before baby is here so we've decided to paint the spare bedroom. Also we had to floor the attic and put a bannister on the stairs.

I have still been suffering from really bad headaches but they're managable. I decided to try and reduce my medication this week. The first couple of days I took one less cyclizine at night time which was ok, I reduced it more and more until I was able to just manage on ondansetron. The cyclizine makes me slow and drowsy so it was great to have a few days relief from it! I was sick a few times while trying different medication but it was managable. I still felt very nauseous so my eating has reduced even more. Some days I will only have a roll and some crisps and thats more than enough but then some days I do manage a bit more.

At the weekend we travelled up to mums in Inverness for the night. I was sick a few times before we left but after a couple of pills I was ok. It was nice to get away for the night but the actual act of doing something and being somewhere else made me really tired which makes me feel more nauseous or physically sick.

Anyway.... its week 17.....surely can't be much longer!!!

Week 16

30th November 2009

This week hasn't been such a good week. I have been feeling very nauseous and was sick several times on Tuesday night. I have been unable to eat so much, most days just having a sandwich or picking at a few things. This is the first time in my life I have wanted to want a huge takeaway binge!!

I have also been suffering very bad headaches for the last few days. Obviously when your pregnant you can't take a lot of medication so I've just had to put up with them. Compared to the sickness and nausea the headaches are more than managable.

I had another doctors appointment on Monday for more medication and another sick line for work. The doctor confirmed what I already knew...... that he does not know anything about hyperemesis. He asked whether the midwife, at my booking appointment, had suggested what medication I could take and if she told me when my hyperemesis would finish. I looked at him confused when he asked the second question, he's meant to be a doctor!! There is no date for it to stop, it can stop at any time or continue on until I give birth. He signed me off for another four weeks and gave me a repeat prescription (just the same as every other doctors appointment!!).

We went baby shopping for the first time at the weekend. It was good and I think we both enjoyed it. We bought a couple of baby outfits, a teddy the same size as me for babies bedroom and a pram!! We had no intention of buying something like that at 16 weeks but it was far too good a deal to pass on and we had to get it. It was the first time I have actually felt pregnant and not just ill.